Clifton Kopp
Are you ever curious about what people’s words say about them?
“I’m not an expert, but…” Ever heard this before? Or maybe, “I think…”
Well, it turns out these phrases could be telling us a lot. Especially when it comes to self-confidence.
Keep reading, because we’re about to delve into the top 10 phrases that might just indicate someone lacks self-confidence.
And trust me, they’re not what you might expect.
1) “I’m not sure, but..”
When people start their sentences with “I’m not sure, but…”, it often signifies that they are second-guessing themselves.
This self-doubt minimizes their position before they’ve even made their point.
Instead of taking a strong stance or confidently sharing their ideas, they’re laying the groundwork for potential disagreement.
They’re trying to soften the blow of criticism by showing they’re already questioning themselves.
This phrase is a clear tell-tale sign of a lack of self-confidence.
2) “I’m sorry…”
Overuse of “I’m sorry…” can also indicate low self-confidence.
It’s normal and polite to apologize when we’ve done something wrong.
But when we start apologizing for simply existing or sharing ideas, it shows a deep-seated fear of disapproval.
People with low self-confidence are often hyper-aware of how they’re perceived by others.
They may worry they’re a burden or annoyance, leading to excessive apologies even when they’re unwarranted.
3) “Does that make sense?”
It’s perfectly reasonable to check in with your listener to ensure they’re following your line of thought.
But when the phrase “does that make sense?” is used excessively, it can be a red flag for a lack of confidence.
It suggests that the speaker is unsure of the clarity or worth of their own ideas.
It shows they need continual reassurance that their contributions to the conversation are valuable and understood.
4) “I think…”
Prefacing statements with “I think…” seems innocuous, but it can imply that the speaker is uncertain of their thoughts and opinions.
It’s as if they’re seeking validation or approval.
Assertive, confident individuals typically express their thoughts more directly, without the need for such a qualifier.
When “I think…” is used excessively, it might suggest the speaker is unsure of their place in the conversation or their right to have opinions.
5) “Now, this is just my opinion…”
Using “Now, this is just my opinion…” before stating a viewpoint can be a marker of self-doubt.
While it’s important to clarify that a statement is subjective, consistently using this phrase can suggest the speaker is devaluing their perspective.
They might feel their thoughts are less valid or important than others.
By treating their own opinion as negligible, they undermine their authority and reveal a lack of self-assuredness.
6) “This may be a stupid question…”
Starting a question with “This may be a stupid question…” can indicate a fear of judgment.
It’s a defensive mechanism designed to shield the speaker from potential criticism.
Asking questions is a fundamental part of learning and engagement.
So when someone feels they must apologize before asking, it can reflect low self-confidence, a lack of belief in their own curiosity or ability to contribute meaningfully to the conversation.
7) “I’m probably wrong…”
“I’m probably wrong…” is another phrase that showcases self-deprecation.
When people predict their own failure or inaccuracy, they’re revealing their own self-doubt.
They’re preparing themselves (and others) for what they see as their inevitable mistake, thus showing a lack of faith in their knowledge or abilities.
8) “I hope I’m not bothering you…”
People who often say “I hope I’m not bothering you…” tend to struggle with self-confidence.
They worry excessively about inconveniencing others and perceive their own needs or requests as potentially bothersome.
Instead of recognizing their worth and right to ask for things, they preemptively apologize, assuming that they are imposing.
This indicates a self-deprecating mindset and lack of self-assurance.
9) “I’m not an expert…”
When someone frequently uses the phrase “I’m not an expert…” before stating an opinion or fact, it may suggest unsureness in their knowledge or experience.
By diminishing their authority right from the start, they create an escape route from potential criticism.
Although it’s important to be humble and recognize the limits of one’s knowledge, this phrase, used excessively, indicates a fear of judgment.
It also shows lack of belief in one’s own capabilities and understanding.
10) “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Frequent use of “Do you understand what I’m saying?” can reveal a lack of confidence in one’s communication skills.
While it’s good to check in to make sure complex ideas are understood, overusing this phrase may imply the speaker worries their thoughts and ideas aren’t clear or valuable enough.
It shows a deep need for constant reassurance, a sign that they may not trust their own ability to convey their thoughts effectively and coherently.
The face of self-confidence
Confidence presents itself in our communication in the form of directness, assertiveness, and the belief in the value of our thoughts and opinions
Instead of undermining themselves with disclaimers and apologies, confident people stand by their ideas.
They’re unafraid to voice their thoughts and are less worried about how others perceive them.
They don’t fear judgment or criticism because they trust their own judgment and are comfortable with the idea that not everyone will always agree with them.
This isn’t to say that confident people don’t have moments of uncertainty or self-doubt. Everyone does.
But overall, their language reveals a belief in their own worth and capabilities.
They don’t feel the need to cushion their words with protective phrases or seek constant reassurance.
And that’s the true face of self-confidence.
Using language to foster self-confidence
Language is a powerful tool in shaping our self-perception and consequently, our self-confidence.
Recognizing the phrases that indicate a lack of confidence is the first step, but the next and more important step is actively working to change the narrative.
Instead of discrediting yourself before sharing your thoughts, practice stating your ideas directly and confidently.
Reduce the usage of phrases like “I think” or “I’m not sure, but”, and assert your points more definitively.
Apologies have their place, but try not to overuse them, especially when they aren’t necessary. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry,” consider if a “thank you” might be more appropriate.
For example, “Thank you for waiting,” instead of “Sorry I’m late.”
Make peace with the fact that it’s okay to ask questions and share opinions, even if they might not always be popular or correct.
Embrace your curiosity and respect your viewpoint.
Remember: Everyone is continually learning, and there is no growth without questions and challenges.
Over time, these subtle shifts in language can significantly impact how you view yourself and how others perceive you, thus fostering a greater sense of self-confidence.
Phrases you can use instead
In the quest to develop self-confidence, it’s essential to not just eliminate disempowering phrases but to also adopt empowering ones.
Replacing self-deprecating language with more assertive phrases can project a more confident image and gradually bolster your self-esteem.
Here are some phrases you can use to appear more self-assured:
- “Let’s explore this idea…”
- “Based on my understanding…”
- “I would like to add…”
- “From my perspective…”
- “Thank you for waiting.”
- “Let me clarify…”
- “What are your thoughts on this?”
- “I believe that…”
- “It’s worth considering…”
- “I’m keen to understand more about…”
- “I’m intrigued by…”
- “I value your insight, and here’s another angle to consider…”
- “Let’s ensure we’re on the same page…”
- “It’s beneficial for us to consider…”
- “Let’s dive deeper into this…”
- “I’m confident that…”
- “Let’s discuss this further…”
- “I’ve done the research, and…”
- “My experience has shown me that…”
- “Let’s tackle this problem together…”
By adopting such phrases, you not only validate your own opinions and ideas but also invite others into an open dialogue, fostering an environment of respect and assertiveness.
Final words
In the end, the journey towards self-confidence is deeply personal and unique for everyone.
It’s not about pretending to be perfect or knowing all the answers.
Rather, it’s about acknowledging your worth, embracing your potential, and cultivating a positive and assertive communication style.
Your language holds incredible power over your perception of yourself. By choosing your words wisely, you can start to build a stronger, more confident version of yourself.
Remember: Change begins with small steps, and every step you take in changing your language brings you closer to becoming the person you aspire to be.
So start today, and let your language pave the way to a more self-confident you.
