Tina Fey
Quiet confidence is a popular term thrown around today. And with good reason!
Gone are the days when the loudest person in the room is seen as the most confident. In fact, the opposite can often be true (depending on the situation, of course).
A person with quiet confidence is seen to have true confidence, strength, and security in themselves.
Explore these 10 traits that are clear signs you have a confident personality (no matter what anyone else says or thinks!).
1) You’re openminded
Being amicable is often seen as a timid person’s trait, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Yes, it takes confidence to stand up for what you believe in and vocalize your opinions, especially on subjects that matter.
But it takes even more strength to keep some views to yourself, particularly if the opposing views aren’t harmful or affecting anyone in any way.
Being loud about your views and opinions all the time may seem like the trait of a confident person. But it can actually ooze insecurity and defensiveness.
True confidence in yourself comes from knowing your beliefs, and not needing another person’s validation to like what you like.
It also means you don’t have to project your own views onto others all the time, as just as you are entitled to your opinions and preferences, others are entitled to theirs.
2) You talk about your feelings
Openness takes inner strength and security, and a confident person doesn’t hide how they feel.
Being vulnerable requires a strong sense of self. Putting yourself out there isn’t easy to do, so if you do it often, you likely have a confident personality.
This applies to your relationships, friendships, dating life, and all other aspects of life. Strong people open up to people and talk about their feelings.
For example, when you’re dating someone and you like them, you tell them you like them. Or if you’re feeling hurt about something someone said, you share it with the person in question and discuss how you feel.
3) You feel comfortable in your own skin
A person with a confident personality believes in themselves and actually (shocker) likes who they are!
They feel comfortable in their own skin, and it oozes out of them when they walk, talk, socialize, and go about their daily lives.
Confident people don’t reel off a long list of things they want to change about themselves every time they look in the mirror.
They like themselves just the way they are. And they know that anything they do (like if they start working out, learn something new, or get a new job) only makes them better and stronger than they already are.
4) You’re assertive when it matters
There’s nothing wrong with going with the flow.
Just because you don’t have a preference for where you go for dinner or what venue the Christmas party is held at, that doesn’t mean you’re not confident.
But a person with a confident personality is assertive when it matters.
If someone is trying to take advantage, you can say no, and stick to your guns about it. Likewise, if you need people to listen to you, you know how to speak up for yourself in a powerful way.
Like dropping the “I think” at the start of your sentences and starting with “This means…” instead. And keeping those “justs” out of your emails wherever possible.
5) You have boundaries
Having true confidence means you have boundaries, and you can say no when you need to.
You’re happy to do things for people and trust people when it feels right. You’re also comfortable being vulnerable when you want to be. But you don’t let others “walk all over you”.
People can sense if you don’t have boundaries, just like they can sense if you do.
Having a confident personality means you know what your boundaries are and when enough is enough.
6) You ask for help
Being good at something means you probably won’t ask for help often. But having a confident personality has nothing to do with how good you are at something.
It takes true confidence to speak up when you need help, to ask questions if you don’t understand, and to be willing to learn from others.
Whether that be in work, a relationship, friendship, or anything in life.
A person with a confident personality doesn’t keep quiet when they don’t know how to do something. Or if they need help from a friend or partner at a tough time.
They have enough security in themselves to ask for help without thinking or believing they’re any less for it.
7) You admit your mistakes (and apologize when needed)
Admitting your mistakes and apologizing for them is one of the biggest signs that you have a confident personality.
Confident people don’t hide from who they are or what they’ve done. They know that making mistakes is a part of living. And they know their sense of self won’t be shattered by a mistake they made.
If you said something you didn’t mean out of hurt, misguided anger, or frustration in any of your relationships, you can swallow your pride and apologize.
The same goes for if you did something wrong or made a mistake at work.
Both scenarios require a confident personality.
8) You can talk to anyone
Another trait of a confident personality is that you can talk to anyone. Socializing comes easy to you.
You can happily approach someone new at an event. Or start a conversation with a new colleague in the kitchen.
This is mostly because you aren’t caught up in your own insecurities. You feel relaxed, calm, and cool in your interactions.
9) You don’t fill silences unnecessary
Being sociable and able to talk to anyone is a clear sign you have a confident personality. But, likewise, you don’t feel the need to fill every silence with words.
When you have a confident personality, you can happily sit with pauses in conversations without feeling the need to jump in.
You can enjoy comfortable silence between conversations, without overthinking that the silence means anything negative.
Remember, there’s a difference between filling a silence unnecessarily and keeping a conversation going.
A beneficial conversation involves more than one person. If you’ve been asking all the questions and doing all the talking, show your confidence and don’t fill the next silence that comes. Let the other person step in.
Both you and the conversation will be better for it.
10) You don’t brag
Being humble is another trait of someone with a confident personality.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing your successes. But a person with inner confidence doesn’t need to overtly brag about things they’ve done.
They don’t even make a big show when they’ve done good (like giving to charity or tipping generously at a restaurant).
This is because their confidence comes from within. They know their worth and they don’t need to shout about every achievement of theirs to feel good about themselves.
Final thoughts
Having a confident personality is about more than just walking around with your head held high.
True confidence shines through in the traits you possess and the things you do and say.
It comes from knowing your worth and letting it radiate from you in everything you do, say, think, and feel.
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